Rudolf's eyes studied his eldest child. Erin wore a blue tank top with a gray jacket draped over the back of her chair. Nathan had been gone since the morning, taking Mama Christy to a series of health workshops. Now, it was just the two of them, eating egg sandwiches with Alfredo sauce.

"Do you really have to stay at the hotel after the event?" Rudolf asked.


A week earlier, Erin had asked for permission to lead the company's work meeting today. She wasn't lying—Rudolf had already confirmed it with his sister, Berta.

"I got one of the free rooms from the office, Dad. It's being used as a dressing room for the girls. It'd be a waste not to use it." Erin spoke between bites, chewing her food. She was good at lying—so good that Rudolf often found it hard to tell the difference. But this time, his gut told him she was being honest.

"Who are you staying with? Should I tell Nathan to follow you to the hotel, so he can keep you company?"


"No, Dad," Erin laughed. "Kia will be there too. She's the HR, super strict and totally trustworthy. She's married, so there's no chance of sneaking anyone in."

"Ah, so no other guys, huh?" Rudolf raised an eyebrow.


"Oh, Dad! Why would you say that?"

"You usually invite guys."

Erin chuckled, "Not anymore. I'm more mature now. Focused on my corporate slave life. A staycation every now and then doesn't hurt, right?"

"True, but I worry you'll end up hanging out everywhere and meet someone again."

"Come on, Dad, let's be fair. I promise, if I ever get serious with someone, you'll be the first to know. So you can decide if he's worth it."

"You did that before," Rudolf reminded her. "Introduced me to him at the start, and he seemed good. But he turned out rotten behind our backs." The memory of that man—someone who traumatized him with Erin's choice—still stung. How could she have fallen for a thug involved in the criminal world?

"Yeah, you're right," Erin sighed. "But you can't dwell on the past, Dad. Look at me now. I barely party, I rarely drink, and I'm focused on work. That's progress, isn't it?"

"As a father, I'll always worry. You know why."

"I know, Dad. I still remember. And trust me, it won't happen again."

Rudolf nodded. "I'm serious Erin."

"So am I," Erin said, putting her sandwich down and reaching for his hand. "Pray for me to get the best, Dad. My prayers might not get answered because of my sins, but maybe yours will."

"Always," Rudolf said, holding her hand gently.

Today was special—a long day alone without the usual family guidance. Plus, she had almost the whole day to spend with Amir. Erin sat at her vanity, applying lip gloss to her red ombre lips, the shimmer matching the light in the corners of her eyes, making her gaze even more captivating.

"You're so pretty. Whose child are you?" she muttered to herself, running her fingers through her hair.

"Yeah, pretty hot, but unfortunately..." A voice interrupted her. Steve had entered the room with his signature cheeky style.

As one of the performers, Steve was dressed sharply in a white shirt and black pants, with perfectly styled hair.

"What's unfortunate?" Erin snapped, closing her powder compact with a loud click.

"Unfortunate things are hard to come by," Steve teased, leaning against the doorframe with a wink.

Erin rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, what self-respecting girl would want a guy like you?"

"You'd be surprised, Rin. What you think is cheap can often turn out better."

"Not if it's dirty."

"Whoa, chill!" Steve pulled up a chair and sat across from her. "I came here to invite you, darling. It's Friday, and tomorrow we have the day off. The team and I have booked a villa in Gladhouse for a staycation until Sunday. Not just a staycation—a party. A Moore party. It's going to be epic. Come on, join us?"

Erin's eyes widened in disbelief. This guy never gave up. "No thanks. I'm staying with Kia, and besides, are you really counting on winning that thousand-dollar prize?"

Steve grinned. "Do you think we won't have fun if we don't win? We're not broke, Rin. Come on, come with us! Your car is with me—you don't need your old driver. He's probably tired."

"Next month we have a family gathering, Steve. We'll do an office trip too." Erin smiled, unfazed by his persistence.

Steve leaned back, disappointed but not defeated. "It's different. I can't exactly stop by your room late at night when I have my wife and kids with me. Still don't want to join us?"

"It's not ‘still.' It's ‘I WON'T,'" Erin replied firmly.

Steve leaned in, grinning. "Erin, you're going to regret this later. When else are we going to have fun together?"

"Next month!" Erin shot back, her smile widening. "You can have fun with your wife and your two adorable kids at the same time."

Steve let out an annoyed snort, clearly not getting the answer he hoped for.

*

There was a stark difference between what Kia was used to at home and what she was experiencing now. Her home was spacious, but it always felt cramped with the constant stream of her mother-in-law's friends and school alumni gathering on the terrace. They gathered nearly every day, leaving behind messes of rujak and liwet rice, complete with the remnants of banana leaves.

Her mother-in-law refused to host them at her own home, even though it was just a ten-minute walk away. The reason was simple—her house was much smaller. Instead, she insisted on using Kia's home, reasoning that it was also her beloved son's. Truth be told, Kia didn't mind that part; her mother-in-law's stuffy, damp house wasn't ideal, especially for Gio's health. That's why Kia preferred to keep Gio at her place, where the conditions were better. But her mother-in-law had other ideas, often wanting to take Gio to her home. To Kia, it felt like an attempt to pressure her not to stay at the hotel.

Gio was only a year old, and didn't have many toys. But her mother-in-law took great pride in bringing out this and that toy to show off to her friends, cluttering the living room. All of Kia's visions of a dream house—baby blue walls that she had lovingly painted, clean white furniture to create a minimalist and neat look—had been destroyed. Even her white kitchen set was constantly dirty, no matter how much Kia cleaned. Somehow, her mother-in-law seemed to believe that a little mess was natural.

But now, just a few moments ago, the cloud of frustration in Kia's heart lifted when she stepped into this hotel room. It was spacious, with twin beds, and the distinctive scent of the hotel filled her with an inexplicable happiness. Finally, she was free from the baby smell, from the overwhelming jasmine air freshener her mother-in-law loved so much. The air conditioner worked perfectly, unlike the one back home that barely functioned.

Yet even here, Kia couldn't escape household chores. She sat leaning against the bed, still in the clothes she had arrived in, not ready at all, even though the event would start in just two hours.

Her roommate for the day, Erin, was a stark contrast. Erin flitted around the room, pacing to the mirror to touch up her makeup, then to the socket to straighten her hair. Watching her made Kia's mood darker. Erin was younger, and everything about her seemed so effortlessly cheerful.

Erin was tall, Kia was short. Erin's waist was slim with perfect curves, while Kia's body was straight and plain. Erin's legs were long and smooth, while Kia's thighs ached after long walks. Erin's stomach was flat, while Kia had to constantly pull hers in to stop it from bulging. They both wore the same light blue tank top, but on Erin, it looked like it was made for a mannequin. Erin's chest was still firm and beautiful, while Kia's had sagged. Even with her hair slightly messy, Erin was still stunning, while Kia's hair—though freshly straightened—would soon frizz again, not to mention the constant shedding from the stress.

Kia wondered, had she really already passed her youth? Had she ever been as beautiful as Erin? She could barely remember. Back when she was Erin's age, her heart was still recovering from the heartbreak of seeing Amir again at office. They had known each other since high school, but by the time they reconnected, Amir already had a partner. Kia, in her heartbreak, latched onto Fiki, a local band guitarist, becoming proud of her weekends spent supporting him on stage. But now, even those memories felt distant and devoid of any positivity.

Marriage no longer felt like an achievement. It felt like a trap, forcing her into a role she despised—one she couldn't escape from, one that no longer allowed her to rest or breathe.

"Kia, have you seen my skirt?" Erin's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"It's in the bathroom, Erin. You took it with you earlier."

"Really?" Erin dashed to the bathroom, emerging moments later with a gray skirt in hand. "Hehe, yeah, you're right."

Kia watched as Erin slipped the skirt over her black shorts, the fabric hugging her waist perfectly. No wonder men adored her. Even without being someone's girlfriend, just looking at her from afar, Erin was refreshing to the eye.

Was that what Amir thought too? Had he also fallen for Erin?

Lately, Amir had been avoiding Ridwan, Raya, and herself. He seemed different—brighter, happier. As someone who had always observed him from a distance, Kia knew exactly what those changes in his expression meant. And knowing that, it felt like she was hurting herself more with each passing day.

There was one memory that lingered in her mind. A moment when she and Amir had been laughing together, driving in the rain on the toll road, during one of their business trips. They were on a mission to find a new office space. One of Amir's jokes had made her laugh so hard...

Kia stood in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection. The safety pin barely held her skirt together, and her blazer felt uncomfortably tight around her arms. It was a stark reminder of how much had changed in just a few short months. The disappointment she felt weighed heavy on her chest, blending with the pangs of insecurity that Erin's flawless appearance had only amplified.

Erin, with her perfect hair and high heels, seemed to glide effortlessly through life. Even now, she was busily searching for a watch, completely unaware of the emotional storm swirling inside Kia. It wasn't Erin's fault—Kia knew that. But the constant comparisons she made, the nagging self-doubt, and the deep-rooted frustration with her own circumstances were impossible to ignore.

"Do you want me to straighten your hair, Kia?" Erin asked, her tone as upbeat and kind as ever.

Kia shook her head. "No need. It'll just get messy again."

Erin shrugged, not taking offense, and returned to her task. Kia appreciated the gesture but couldn't bring herself to accept the offer. It wasn't just about her hair—it was everything. She felt like she was losing herself, one small piece at a time, swallowed by the expectations of her household, her body changes, and now, her jealousy over Amir.

Amir. His words echoed in her mind—"I'll wait for your widow." Back then, she had laughed it off, thinking it was just a joke. But now, she couldn't help but wonder if there had been more to it. Did Amir mean it? Was there a part of him that had been waiting for her, even after all these years?

It was hard to believe that now. Especially with Erin around. If Kia were a man, she'd choose Erin too—how could anyone not? Amir, with his brightened demeanor and increased distance lately, seemed to be drawn to her. And why wouldn't he be? Erin was everything Kia wasn't—young, vibrant, effortlessly beautiful.

Kia sighed, feeling the familiar sting of inadequacy settle in her heart. She couldn't blame Erin for being who she was. Nor could she blame Amir for possibly falling for her. But the thought of watching them together—of seeing Erin waltz into Amir's life the way Kia had always dreamed of—was unbearable.

She needed to find some peace of mind. Some way to get a grip on the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside her. But what could she do? She couldn't change who she was, nor could she stop Erin from being herself. Kia knew that her own feelings of self-worth and security had to come from within, but at that moment, it felt impossible to find even a sliver of that confidence.

For now, she would focus on getting through the day. She would go check the food with Erin, put on a smile, and keep her feelings buried deep. But sooner or later, she would have to face them—her frustrations, her fears, and her fading hopes for something more. And she had to do it on her own terms, before she lost herself completely.

Kia took a deep breath, forcing herself to stand taller, even though the weight in her chest remained. Maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to make peace with it all.

***