Nathan's attempt to familiarize Erin with children by surrounding her with them hadn't worked as planned. On Sunday morning, she woke up already feeling queasy at the thought of spending the entire day with Sheyna.

Standing in front of the bathroom sink, Erin stared at her reflection. A towel was wrapped around her head, and she wore a loose gray shirt paired with black culottes—clothes she rarely chose but felt necessary for a day of running after an energetic toddler. Her mind raced with the thought of having to carry Sheyna. The idea alone made her stomach churn.


What would Amir think if he found out she, a grown woman, didn't know how to carry a child? The thought terrified her. What if he decided she wasn't fit to be Sheyna's future mother? Anxiety tightened her features, and she massaged her forehead, trying to smooth away the creases.

Erin glanced at her hands in the mirror, attempting to visualize holding a child. The image made her shiver. She adjusted her stance, pretending to cradle a toddler on her shoulder, but the action felt awkward and unnatural. The worst-case scenario flashed through her mind—what if she held the child wrong and hurt her?

An idea sparked when she caught sight of the towel on her head. She took it, rolled it into a bundle, and held it as though it were Sheyna. It felt far too small; Sheyna was nearly three and would be heavier and taller than a makeshift towel baby.


As she dried her hair, Erin's mind raced with excuses she could use to avoid carrying Sheyna. But what could she say that wouldn't make her look strange?

The thoughts lingered as she sat in Amir's car, nibbling on a cheese-stuffed sausage from a fast-food bag. The car's gentle purr did little to calm her nerves.


'Honey, are you okay?" Amir asked, glancing at her while navigating a turn. He wore a gray polo shirt that coincidentally matched her outfit, but Erin was too preoccupied to joke about it.

'No," she muttered.

'No? Are you sure?" Amir's brows furrowed as he took a second glance, noticing the furrows on her forehead and the faint scent of lavender oil that lingered in the air.

'I'm fine," she lied, shifting uncomfortably and folding the wrapper of her half-eaten snack.

'You seem... tense. Am I wrong?"

'I'm not nervous," Erin lied again, her voice betraying her unease. She folded her hands tightly, feeling the nausea rise.

'Relax, sweetheart. Dad's going fishing this afternoon, so he won't be around, and my mom already knows you're coming. She's excited to meet you," Amir said, offering her a reassuring smile and squeezing her knee gently.

Erin mustered a weak smile in return, his misinterpretation of her real worry gnawing at her. Meeting Sheyna was the real reason for her nerves, not his mother.

'So, where are we heading today?" she asked, forcing herself to sound casual as she patted Amir's hand.

'First, we're going to the photo studio. After that, lunch and a walk at Ancol Beach. I heard there's a lantern festival tonight. We can relax until it gets dark, and then we'll drop off Sheyna and head home."

'Are you sure Sheyna can handle such a long day?"

'Of course. She's with her dad," Amir chuckled and playfully poked her cheek, 'and her future mother."

'Heh," Erin replied flatly, too caught up in her own thoughts to respond properly.

'‘Heh?'" Amir mimicked, surprised by her stiff response. 'What's wrong? Are you not happy?"

'No, it's nothing."

'Then what is it? You're acting strange."

'In what way?" she retorted defensively.

'If you're uncomfortable, you can tell me, Erin. I don't want you hiding anything from me."

'I'm just... a little nervous," she admitted, resting a trembling hand over her heart.

Amir's eyes softened, and he gave her a teasing smile. 'That's adorable," he said, trying not to laugh. 'Oh, just wait until you meet my parents! If you can stay this calm, you're amazing."

'Yeah, yeah," she muttered, shaking her head. 'Just go back to driving. I'm not going to sleep; my makeup will get smudged."

'Really? Your makeup will stay if you don't nap?" Amir teased.

'You're being mean!" Erin swatted his hand away, laughing despite herself.

'Kidding, honey. Just relax. Everything will be fine." Amir took a moment to appreciate her profile as she turned to stare out the window. He knew she was still worrying, her mind racing as cars passed by in a blur.

The woman with shoulder-length hair looked nothing like Amir. Her skin was pale, almost porcelain, and she appeared youthful for someone who had a thirty-five-year-old son. Her sharp nose and distinct Middle Eastern features were striking. Dressed in a trendy floral lace top and blue jeans, she had an air of effortless style. Erin guessed that this kind of mother would still fit right in at an elementary school, waiting for her child at the gates.

'Let's go," Amir said, turning off the car engine.

Erin didn't wait for him to open her door. She stepped out, trying to steady her racing heart as she took in the surroundings.

Finally, she breathed in the air of Tangerang, the place that held Amir's childhood memories.

The house was charming, with space between it and the neighboring homes that spoke of an older, more relaxed time. A low, fragile fence bordered the property, its green paint flaking away in places. The yard, though wide, was unkempt, the grass reaching ankle-height. The house itself was a one-story building painted a fading light green. Its old, red-tiled terrace hinted at the house's long history.

'Be patient. Let's get you into the car," Amir said as he took Sheyna from his mother's arms.

'Hello, Erin." The woman's voice broke Erin's train of thought.

'Hello, Auntie. It's so nice to meet you," Erin said, kissing the woman's hand.

'Call me Haifa. It's nice to meet you too, beautiful." Haifa's eyes sparkled with warmth as they both glanced at Amir securing Sheyna in the back seat. The little girl's previous whimpers had faded. 'Apologies for Sheyna being fussy. She gets impatient when she knows she's going to see her daddy."

'It's okay. Kids will be kids," Erin said with a smile.

'Mom, sorry we couldn't stay longer. We have a full schedule today," Amir said from inside the car.

Erin exhaled in relief, grateful she didn't have to suppress her nerves for too long.

'Are you sure? If I come, I could help a bit," Haifa offered.

'It's fine, Mom. You can rest," Amir said.

'Yes," Erin added, holding Haifa's hand reassuringly. 'We'll take care of Sheyna."

'Alright then. Take care, both of you," Haifa said.

'Goodbye, Auntie," Erin said, shaking her hand once more.

Today felt surreal. Erin sat in the car next to Amir, but for the first time, a child was in the backseat—a child who was also Amir's daughter. Sheyna sat directly behind Amir, dressed in a gray jacket over a white sleeveless top and simple knee-length jeans. Her bobbed hair was adorned with a tiny hair clip pinned to her bangs. Today's agenda was a photoshoot for Sheyna's casting portfolio, so her outfit matched the management's instructions.

The child looked more grown-up than in the photos Erin had seen. Sheyna had a plump figure, small, slightly tired-looking eyes, and round cheeks with a natural blush.

As the car merged into traffic, Sheyna became restless.

'Papap, mbim."

'Mbim ndee!"

'Mbim tuu, mbim waaa…"

The chatter made Erin freeze, worried she'd say something wrong.

'She's counting cars," Amir explained when he caught Erin's confused look.

But every time Erin glanced back at Sheyna, the little girl would suddenly go quiet, her lips pressed together as if refusing to speak.

'She doesn't want to talk to me?" Erin whispered to Amir.

'Sheyna, look, this is Aunty Erin. You know, at home, you always look for Aunty Erin."

'EYIIIIN?" Sheyna's loud question startled Erin, making her cover her right ear.

'Yes, honey. This is Aunty Eyin," Erin said, a soft smile forming as she tried to break the ice. The girl frowned at her, as if unsure.

'Oh, you don't believe me? Ask your papap," Erin teased gently.

'EYIIIN?" Sheyna repeated, her voice even louder.

'Yes, darling. This is Aunty Erin," Amir said, barely holding back a laugh at Erin's startled expression.

'Why is your voice so loud, honey? Did you swallow a whistle?" Erin joked.

'WISSLE?" Sheyna shouted with mischievous glee. Erin realized that the child was playing with her on purpose. When Erin responded with a flat expression, Sheyna burst out laughing—a sound Erin had only heard through videos on YouTube.

'Hm, Papap Amir's little one is so naughty," Erin said, shaking her head with mock disapproval.

Amir could only smile as he watched Erin trying to engage with Sheyna. To him, they both looked adorable. He hadn't expected that his efforts to find a stepmother for Sheyna would lead him to someone who, despite her young age, acted more like the child's playful companion.

Amir felt a wave of contentment wash over him. The laughter shared between Erin and Sheyna was genuine, and Erin's attempts to bond were natural and unforced.

At last, they reached the photo studio at eleven. The sky over Tangerang was overcast, casting a cool, muted light. Amir quickly placed Sheyna in her navy-blue stroller and glanced at Erin, who looked a little relieved—probably thinking she had narrowly escaped carrying out any unfamiliar responsibilities.

A young man with a thick mustache, dressed in black, guided them to the far end of the first-floor room, which was set up with a white backdrop, two large lights, and a camera positioned at the back.

Amir knelt down in front of his little girl. "Sheyna, listen to Papa. I brought you here because you like taking pictures. If you don't want to, or if you're uncomfortable, just tell me. I won't be upset, okay?"

At almost three years old, Sheyna seemed to understand her father well. She pointed towards the mustachioed man preparing the camera and said, "Photoooo!"

"Don't worry, Papa. Sheyna can't wait," Erin said, a special warmth in her voice as she called him Papa. It made Amir's heart race, and he cleared his throat, trying to mask the sudden rush of emotion. He helped Sheyna into the photo area.

Erin watched in awe as the little girl confidently took her place in front of the camera. Amir's smile widened when he saw the mustachioed photographer skillfully directing Sheyna, making her pose with her hands on her cheeks and forming a heart with her tiny fingers, which led to giggles that revealed her adorable little teeth.

'She's really talented, isn't she?" Erin said, leaning into Amir. He rested his head against hers, still watching Sheyna. 'I can't wait to take photos with her for Instagram."

'Are you serious?" Amir turned to look at her, surprised.

'Of course! Why not? It's better than trying to take photos with you. You're always so reluctant," Erin teased.

'Do you really want to post pictures of Sheyna?" Amir's voice softened with disbelief.

'Why are you acting so strange? Isn't it allowed?" Erin asked with a playful smile.

'Of course it is. I just didn't expect it," Amir admitted, thinking back to Erin's Instagram feed filled with club nights, beach trips, and bikini shots. The idea of Sheyna appearing on Erin's profile seemed almost surreal.

'Look at her, honey. She's so cute I could just eat her up!" Erin laughed, captivated by Sheyna's antics as she played with a small elephant doll prop.

Amir's day couldn't have been better.

As they drove to their next destination, Erin and Sheyna grew even closer, chattering about cars, debating the color of traffic light clowns' costumes, and sharing stories Amir never imagined they'd discuss.

For dinner, Amir chose an Indonesian restaurant he frequented. He wanted Sheyna to sit comfortably and enjoy her meal. Seated in her high chair, Sheyna fed herself, smearing tomato sauce and macaroni schotel on her white bib. Erin's laughter at Sheyna's messy eating filled the room, making Amir's heart swell.

'After this, we're going to the sea, Sheyna. Do you know what the sea is?" Erin asked, her eyes twinkling.

'Fish?" Sheyna replied with a serious look.

'Yes! There are fish in the sea. But are there fish at Ancol, Papa?" Erin's playful question made both girls look at him expectantly.

Amir smiled. 'We'll see, okay?"

'See? Papa doesn't know either," Erin teased, turning back to Sheyna.

'Papap!" Sheyna suddenly shouted and threw her spoon, which landed weakly on the floor.

'Eww, that's not allowed, Sheyna." Erin picked up the spoon and gently scolded her. 'Wait, let me get a new spoon for you. Don't eat with your hands, sweetheart." She glanced around but noticed the waitstaff were all by the counter. She stood up to go over, but Sheyna whined, raising her arms to be picked up.

Erin hesitated, her eyes seeking Amir's advice. 'Should I pick her up?"

'Can you?" Amir asked, amused.

'I can try, but maybe show me first?" Erin's excitement made Amir's heart melt.

He demonstrated how to hold Sheyna, guiding Erin's hands. 'Place your right arm under her seat and your left arm to support her back. Gently, like this…"

A bit stiffly, Erin lifted Sheyna into her arms. After a moment of adjusting, Sheyna settled comfortably. Erin glanced down at the little girl, who looked up with wide eyes. 'Are you okay, Sheyna? Let's go get that spoon."

Amir had expected at least a few hiccups throughout the day, maybe even complaints or signs of exhaustion from Erin. But she surprised him. As the sun set over Ancol Beach, Erin was still carrying Sheyna while Amir pushed the empty stroller. The scene was perfect, Erin's initial stiffness gone, replaced by a natural grace that made Amir's chest swell with gratitude.

Sheyna's laughter filled the air as she and Erin pointed excitedly at the lanterns flickering to life on the boats bobbing on the sea. Amir hesitated to draw any conclusions, but the day had shown him that Erin genuinely wanted to bond with Sheyna, and Sheyna, in her own way, seemed eager to connect with Erin too.

Amidst the backdrop of dusk, with crowds milling around and the crisp sea breeze carrying the scent of saltwater, Amir lifted his phone. He waited, searching for the perfect moment to capture the two most important girls in his life framed in a photograph, their joy and innocence preserved in pixels.

There was no room for exhaustion; his heart glowed brighter with every passing second. The day had been like a beautiful garden blooming within him, vivid and alive. As they crawled through traffic on the way home, the cacophony of honking horns only made him smile more. He was too happy to mind the chaos.

When they finally reached his home in Tangerang, night had fully settled in. Both Sheyna and Erin were fast asleep, exhaustion painted on their peaceful faces. Amir's mother, Mrs. Haifa, stood waiting on the porch, a soft smile on her face.

Amir gently shook Erin's knee to rouse her. 'Honey, we're here. You can go back to sleep in a bit."

Erin stretched, blinking sleepily and rubbing her eyes. 'Okay."

He lifted Sheyna from the stroller, cradling her carefully as they approached the house. Erin trailed behind, still adjusting to her wakeful state, slightly unsteady on her feet.

'Mom, we won't be staying. I need to drop Erin off," Amir said, as his mother bent to pick up Sheyna, who remained soundly asleep.

'Why so soon? Can't you come in for a bit?" Mrs. Haifa asked.

Erin's eyes widened slightly, a tinge of disappointment crossing her face. Amir had mentioned they wouldn't be staying long, but she hadn't expected they wouldn't step inside at all.

'No, Mom, we've already eaten. Just say hello to Dad for me," Amir said.

'Alright then. Be safe," his mother replied, cradling Sheyna.

'Goodbye, Mrs. Haifa," Erin said softly, waving.

As Amir drove back onto the highway, Erin glanced at her phone. It was only a few minutes past eight. 'It's just past eight. Why are you in such a rush?"

Amir glanced sideways at her. 'I didn't tell you, did I? I'm going to see a friend after this."

Erin's eyes narrowed slightly. 'A friend? Who?"

'His name is Will. He lives in Menteng in the Central city," Amir replied, trying to sound casual.

'What are you going to do there?" Erin's tone sharpened with curiosity. She couldn't recall Amir ever mentioning a friend named Will, and as far as she knew, Amir only hung out with his rock-climbing buddies.

'Just to hang out. Is that okay?" he asked, glancing at her briefly.

'Hmm, so you'd rather spend time with this Will than with me?" Erin teased, though her voice had a slight edge.

'Hey, next week we're going camping together, remember?" Amir chuckled.

'Yeah, with Idzhar and Yuli, right? Why isn't this Will coming?"

'We're not that close."

'So why visit him?" Erin's eyebrows raised in challenge.

'Why not? We don't meet often, so I thought it'd be good to catch up," Amir said, shrugging.

'Are you sure you're not lying?" Erin squinted at him suspiciously.

'I promise, honey. I'm not lying," Amir said with a lighthearted grin.

'You'd better not be." Erin held up her pinky finger. 'Promise me you'll keep my trust."

'Now?" Amir laughed, glancing at his hands on the wheel. 'Kind of hard while I'm driving."

'Fine." Erin leaned over and pinched his nose until it turned red. 'If you lie, I'll pinch harder next time."

'Ouch! Noted!" Amir said, rubbing his nose.

He wasn't lying.

After he dropped Erin off at her house, Amir headed to Menteng. The black storefront he arrived at was alive with activity. Inside, three men covered in tattoos sat talking in the main room. Amir, having made an appointment, was led up to the second floor. The room was dimly lit with slow R&B music playing. A black bed, resembling one from a hospital, stood in the center under the glow of a ring light. Various tools and equipment were neatly arranged on a nearby table.

Will, a man with dark skin and long dreadlocks, nodded and patted the bed. 'Lie down, bro. We're doing the Korean script, right?"

Amir took off his polo shirt and laid down, his head propped slightly on the inclined mattress.

'Yes."

For the next twenty minutes, Amir gritted his teeth and winced as the needle bit into the skin just above his ribs, on the left side of his chest—one of the most painful spots for a first tattoo. Each stab of ink sent jolts of pain radiating through him, but the significance behind the tattoo gave him the strength to endure it. Thankfully, he had chosen a simple design: a single Korean character.

His palms grew slick with sweat as he clenched his shirt, the tension in his muscles serving as his only outlet for the discomfort. Finally, the relentless pricking ceased, and relief washed over him.

Amir stood before a large mirror, eyes locked on the newly etched character: 나, pronounced 'Na," which means 'I." It was a symbol that spoke to his heart, reminding him of the three most important people in his life—himself, Sheyna, and Erin—all sharing names that contained the syllable 'Na."

This choice had been simmering in his mind for a while. But today, witnessing Erin's tender interactions with Sheyna had cemented his certainty. It reassured him that the path he had chosen was right. To carry the bond between them as a permanent mark on his skin was a tribute and a high hope that their unity would endure, bound until only fate could sever it.

The day had been a dream, a perfect blend of warmth and joy. Even as exhaustion and the lingering sting from the fresh tattoo settled over him, Amir's face retained a trace of a smile. He lay on his bed in the dimly lit room, replaying the day in his head.

Reaching for his phone, he opened the gallery, each image confirming that today had been real. He swiped through the photos, reliving every natural, joyful moment he had captured. One picture stood out—Erin, fumbling with Sheyna, a slight frown of concentration creasing her brow. It clicked then; that must have been why Erin had seemed anxious earlier. She didn't quite know how to hold a child comfortably.

Amir chuckled softly. The realization was both amusing and touching. Erin had options; she could have chosen an easier path, one where she didn't have to adapt to a man who already had a child. But she chose to stay, choosing the challenges along with the joy.

In the last photo, which was remarkably clear, Erin and Sheyna were smiling into the camera, their eyes bright and full of life. Amir's smile deepened as he set the image as his phone's wallpaper. It was a small, simple gesture, but it meant everything to him. These were the two faces he would carry with him as a source of strength in all the challenges life threw his way.

***