UNAPOLOGETIC

"Ellie!" The voice of Grace startles me from my thoughts and makes me drag my face lazily to her.


She is not in her apron, and her backpack is slinging on her shoulder. It is already night. Good to know! I haven't left this office since yesterday. Fortunately, I managed to get some forty winks in the wee hours of the dawn, but like an early bird that I have been, I was up as soon as my eyes closed. My tormented soul succumbed to insomnia. I couldn't sleep.

Throughout the day, I didn't even make an attempt to step out of this room to at least check on how the shop was doing. I wasn't, and I am still not in the mood for anything. I haven't fed my breadbasket anything either. I am just not myself. This is so much more attrition in just a day than I could have ever speculated.

"Go on, Grace. I will be fine." I am rubbing my eyes in an endeavor to ameliorate the eye bags. I don't know if it is really a remedy; I just have to placate them, and that is the only option I have.


"What exactly happened between you and Damia?"

"Don't mention that name to me, Grace!" The rubbing of my eyes stops as I howl, that same dagger piercing through my heart at the hearing of his name. The yelling, huh? I really need to rectify my temper! Mental note. "Sorry, but just leave, Grace, please!" My sixth sense pitched in.


I just can't keep snarling at everyone, much less her. She does not have any fault in any of my quandaries, and her nuisance is only because she cares. I can't be hysterical about the whole world just because of one jerk. I should be able to put a barrier around my venom and cease pushing everyone away from me just because of a few idiots.

"Aren't we friends, Ellie? It hurts me to see you this way, you know? What's more heartbreaking is knowing that you don't consider me your friend at all." The pain is so apparent in her soft tone.

If only she can understand... if only she could just leave me this once... I don't want to be rude to her as much as I don't I don't want to hurt myself more debating about that jerk. "It's not like that, Grace. Of course, you are my friend. Let us... Just leave me be for tonight, okay? Please! I will explain things tomorrow, promise." I explain calmly.

"Okay. I bought some food for you. It is in the microwave. Can you at least promise me you will eat it?" She implores.

She cares so much, and that is her only mistake. "Okay, I will have a bite."

"Hey, not just a bite, Ellie! You need to finish all of it. You have not eaten anything for two good days. Please eat," she pleads.

Mental eyes roll! I don't have the strength to do that physically.

"Okay, I promise!" I mumble just to shoo her away.

I can't deny that I am hungry. I am thrilled by her caring gesticulations and wise notions. But like I said, I am in no mood for anything, not even eating. Nothing at all. But again, either way, my stomach is swooping at the mention of food, and there is this beautiful soul that went all the way to buy food for me. I should stop being a cranky, insensible bitch, right? And selfish too.

"Okay. See you tomorrow," she says as she turns to leave.

"Thank you, Grace!" I mumble, and she turns around to showcase the small grin on her face and walks out.

My clock is ticking quarter to nine, and I wake up to fathom whether I should haul this shoddy body of mine to my condo or spend another uncomfortable night here. Maybe I will be able to get some sleep in my condo?

I fish out of my phone, only to find it filled with a hundred-plus missed calls. What the heck!

With a pounding heart, I start scrolling down. I'm only catching a glimpse of two pesky names, and I am anxiously looking for the sight of a third one. I am yearning and praying that I at least find it, but all in vain. There was no sight of it. He didn't bother to call. I am here killing myself for a person who doesn't give a fuck about me. What kind of weak bitch is this term "love" turning me into? This isn't just worth it!

After a lot of contemplation, I press Rose's number and park the phone in my ear. They better have something better to say other than the usual, or else I won't think twice about dropping the damn call and blocking them.

"Finally, Ellie! For fuck's sake, where heck have you been?" She yells, and I had to yank the phone away from my ear to avoid being deafened by her yelling.

As if they care! IMAO!

"Why did you call?" I inquired after returning the phone carefully to the ear.

"Huh? Come on, bestie! You don't have to be this cold, you know? It sucks!"

I can hear Sherry grumbling something at her. I knew they were together. What I don't infer is the urgency that made them call all night.

"The last time we spoke, Rose, you two got on my nerves. Sorry if I sound harsh, but you guys hurt me more, and first," I state.

"We are sorry, bestie. You see..." She stops, infuriating my anger. What are they up to? "Give me the phone!" I hear Sherry's voice, and in a second, her voice echoes softly in my ears.

"Ellie, we are sorry, okay? We want to make up for that."

Ahem! Make-up, huh? These two are crazy when it comes to inklings and surprises. I wonder what they are up to this time.

"I am all ears, Sherry." I wait and pay attention as she speaks.

"We are here in Mombasa. We had hoped to be surprised, but, well, you left us in the dark, and we ended up in this disgusting hotel room that is smelling like shit."

I should laugh because I know how wrinkled her face looks right now, but something just prevents me. They are here. Who called them?

No! Not that crap about them wanting to make it to me. I will not buy that at all for some weird reasons.

"Did you guys take a vacation or something?" I query.

"Aaah....no. You see, Ellie."

When the stammers begin, summon a sixth sense. This is deep. I sense danger.

"No lies, Sherry," I hijack her dialogue, 'the truth alone, or I hang up right now." I don't understand why they are beating around the bush, but I have a bad feeling about it. "Did my father send it to you?" I just can't hold back my anxiety.