DEAL.

"We can still fix this, Ellie! We can avoid hurting ourselves and the people inside—our family," Damian says again, as if this means the world to him.


I fix my eyes on him, mentally scoffing at him.

Fix?

What is there to fix? The bond that he himself has broken? The trust that he broke? The shattered pieces of my heart that are scattered somewhere in my chest? What exactly are we supposed to fix first because all this sh*t cannot be fixed at the same time?


"I am sorry for hurting you, okay? Believe me, this was not my intention. I am sorry. Please...!" He wavers, his mouth remaining agape as if he still has a zillion things to say, but somehow the words are stuck somewhere in his throat.

Maybe it was intentional. He didn't want to hurt me, did he? Yes, I can play the fool and buy that even when I know this will hurt me in the end. My solid ground is that he had myriad opportunities to do things right. He had plenty of chances and, more so, a good reason to come out clean and save me from this pain and betrayal. My love and trust for him were adequate reasons for him to trust me with this. But what did he do? He made a fool out of me!


He grips my shoulders, aligning our gazes, and I feel him tremble. A second time of him trembling!

"Please, babe, I love you. Forgive me! I cannot bear losing you."

He loves me so dearly, to the point of concealing secrets from me. He loves me so much that he had to wait for me to find out about his identity this way without minding how much pain it would bring. How could he have acted so selfishly? And, damn it! He knew he would lose the moment this came out from someone else. I had warned him, didn't I?

‘For whatever brought us together...'

‘Fate had it written...'

‘Even if he is all that I am...'

‘She was not even supposed to be yours to start with.'

So, all his parables had stifled meanings, huh? He knew what he was saying, and I was a dummy to have soothed him, thinking that he was terrified of losing me. I didn't know this was what he was afraid of—me finding out the truth.

"Say something, Ellie! You are freaking me out for fucks sake!" He shakes me, and I accept a bitter chuckle.

"You pulled a good and fast one on me, Mr. Riccaforte! I thought Leo was the worst, but you are worse!"

"Don't you dare compare me to that cheating bastard! He and I can never be equal," he says.

"I don't think so, because betrayal is betrayal no matter how you portray it, Damian," I insist with an endearing cool, and I can see how he is shaken to the bones. I also didn't expect to be this calm. I thought by now my eyes would be full of tears. But no drop is dropping.

"My degree of betrayal is not on a higher notch like his. At least I didn't screw any other bitch, much less your sister! I remained faithful to you even when I knew you were going to detest me the moment you discovered the truth. I am not a man whore like him," he fumes.

Wow! He is getting angry now.

"But you nonetheless fooled me. You would still be making a fool out of me if this didn't happen, right? It makes no difference," I calmly state.

"I said we can still fix this, didn't I? Just give us another chance, Ellie!" He pleads.

Whoa!

So, he said, and I just have to believe what he said? That is what he wants, and so I just have to abide by his cursed wants?

Sometimes, love ain't just enough. You can never offer someone empty love and expect it to blossom. Trust is fundamental, and honesty is as basic, and these two crucial things are what he needs to work on before anything. I was not ashamed of being who I was when he found out that I was a Riccaford. That was a perfect chance for him to explain himself, but he kept secrets from me, meaning he didn't fully trust me or my great love for him. I mean, that was the most perfect chance for us to surprise each other, right?

His betrayal stings more than any other pain I have ever endured. Two heartbreaks in an abrupt expanse of four months are just too much, and this is the worst—because I was still nurturing the wounds of the previous scars when I opened my heart to him and also because I loved him too much. I love him, right? Everyone deserves to be loved. Freely and wholeheartedly. I gave him my all. I do love him still, but I can't take this.

I need time to work on myself. We need to be apart to work on ourselves—him to work on his insecurities and trust issues, and me to nurse the wounds of his betrayal. I love him too much, but sometimes you just need to take a break and reflect on things. To work on just you.

However, just like he mentioned, our parents have been looking forward to this moment for years. Aside from his expectant parents, there is my father's worrying condition. I know I have his blessings to just reject this man right now and send him to hell, and I will still have the blessings of my father, but I have a conscience. I would die if something bad happened to my father. He is all that I have now. I can do anything and everything for him at this point. I have nothing to lose anyway.

I click my heels on the floor, entangling myself from Damian's hold by taking a step back and creating some space between us. "You want me to forgive you?" I query, thrusting my head as high as it can get.