NO MORE BLAMES

"Hey, Mrs. Almeda!" I lift my head from the computer to see Damian strolling to my side.


Mrs. Almeda! Mmh, that sounds so sweet, if only it wasn't a sham! "Hi, hubby! What brings you to my office?" I ask as he plants a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Picking up my wife, or is it my baby?" he teases, sitting on the edge of my desk, his playful smile lighting up the room.

"What do you love calling me? Wifey, wife, baby, Sweet Ellie, Weird Ellie?" I ask, resting my elbows on his lap and gazing up at his gorgeous face, feeling a warm flutter in my chest.


"Wifey makes me feel like I really own you. I would go with that. But still, baby hits are kind of different. And you will always be my sweet Ellie. But, Weird? Naah! Not anymore," he says, his eyes twinkling with affection.

His words make my heart skip a beat


Ahem!

I know that feeling. That longing to possess something you love so much. I have countless times asked myself, 'What if this was real?' What if I just kick my fears and ego aside and give in? Continue our love story. Continue the beautiful thing we had.

My love for him never fled my heart; even during that particular time, I felt so mad at him for lying to me. It is still there, and it forever will be, even deeper than before. Every moment we shared—every touch, every laugh—has left an indelible mark on my soul.

What is really holding me back from surrendering to him?

Is it the fear of being hurt again or of opening myself up to the possibility of betrayal? The thought of experiencing that pain once more is paralyzing. Or is it my pride, the part of me that wants to protect myself and keep my heart safe behind walls I've built over time?

Then there's doubt. That persistent whisper in my mind questions the authenticity of his feelings. What if this is still a sham? What if his words are just a beautiful façade?

But deep down, I know the truth. The love we share is undeniable, a powerful force that has weathered every storm. It has grown stronger with each passing day, each shared moment, and each whispered confession. Our connection is real and palpable—something that can't be easily dismissed.

Maybe it's time to let go of the past and embrace the possibility of a future together. Trust in the love that has never faded but only intensified. What if I took that leap of faith? What if I allowed myself to fully embrace what we have, to surrender to the love that has always been there, waiting for me to acknowledge it?

It's a terrifying thought, but also a liberating one. The fear of the unknown is daunting, but the regret of never trying is far worse. Maybe it's time to stop holding back and let myself truly love and be loved by him. Maybe it's time to believe in the beautiful things we had and still have and to continue our love story without reservations.

"Wifey? You are zoning out. What's up?" he asks.

I shake my mind, leaning back on my swivel chair. "Just wondering what life would have been for us if..."

"If I didn't lie to you?" He cuts me off. 'We would probably be preparing for our wedding."

Probably. Or even just enjoying our love without anything holding us back. 'Everything would be so different," I murmur.

He reaches for my hand, giving it a kiss before fixing his eyes on mine. 'Do you think that you will ever forgive me for everything? I mean, I had caused you so much pain even before we ran into each other. And I hurt you the most with my insecurities," he says.

I feel the weight of his words hanging like a stone on my shoulders. We are both guilty here, honestly. Wait, no, actually. I think the best way to put it would be to say that we were both victims here. This didn't start with us.

All this guilt we are carrying, we shouldn't carry it. We shouldn't feel this way, like we are the reason for each other's problems. The circumstances that led us here were beyond our control, shaped by forces and decisions made long before we even met.

It is easy to blame ourselves, or even society to blame and judge us, to think that if we had done something differently, we wouldn't be in this mess. But the truth is, we did the best we could with what we had. We navigated through confusion and misunderstandings, trying to make sense of a situation that was never truly ours to control.

We need to let go of this guilt. We have blamed and punished ourselves for far too long. It is enough now. It is a burden that isn't ours to bear. We are not the source of each other's problems like we have always thought, but rather, we are each other's solace and strength. We were just victims.

I clutch his hand tight. "I did too. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have cut ties with your family. You wouldn't have been fighting with them until now. That is what I have been telling myself, but the truth is that it wasn't our fault either, and for that, we are good, Damian. We were victims; we have lost and learned a lot through this journey already. Let us just put all that behind us and start fresh, as Damian Almeda Riccaforte and Ellie Marrie Riccaford did. As the betrothed that we are! I don't want to break this bond. I don't want to lose you, us, or our love, Damian."

Instead of answering, he pulls me to my feet and cages me between his legs, embracing me for a choking hug, but I don't mind. I actually relish it. So much. If possible, I wouldn't want it to end.