(Past)

"THE KING must send his son to the border to show his regard for the northern part of his territory. Or else, this dispute will result to an uproar from the people." An old woman cackled. "Well, what do you think? Is the king going to send his bastard son? Ah, what's his name again... was it Lance?"


"Oh, Molly. Shut up!" Her friend patted the squeaking chair. "The king has ears everywhere. You wouldn't like it once he caught a wind of this."

"I dare him!"

A long haired man entered the inn. The women stopped talking and assessed the man. He's young but he already looked cold and unfeeling.


"Who's with you, young man?" Molly asked. "The rooms aren't that bad in this place. It's comfortable enough."

The man side-stepped. Right behind him is another guy. This one a few years younger than the latter. His skin is few shades darker but they have the same eyes.


"I'm here with my son." A smile that wasn't quite happy crossed his face. Before the ladies could examine it, he already changed the topic. "We're here to stay for a long time. Excuse us."

Molly scoffed. 'His son?' She couldn't understand young people these days. 'Was he fooled by an old woman and now he's the stepdad of that guy? But he's too young!'

The guy looks a little over twenty five years old. While the man behind him was nineteen or something. 'It can't be his son.'

"Oh, that guy was weird." Her friend commented, "A jerk."

"Who respect old people like us these days, ah? They all forget the seniority."

FEELING AROUND the small space inside their room, Joaquin tilted his head and smiled. "I don't like how small this place is."

He couldn't actually see the place but the flow of air suggested that the place is claustrophobic. Joaquin hates small places ever since his accident.

"You have no choice. We have to wait for your new guardian. I'm here to get them."

Adarmus wouldn't look at his face for long. Joaquin feels like the man's mood worsen every time he stares at him. Although Joaquin doesn't know the reason why, he respects the man as his father. He wouldn't ask.

"Oh..." Joaquin asked, "are they going to arrive soon?"

"Don't you trust me?"

Joaquin shook his head. "No, father."

Adarmus laughed. He bent over and scratched his head. "You really know now how to make me laugh, hmn?"

'But you don't sound happy. You were never happy.' Joaquin didn't call out his fake laugh and smacked his arms instead. "This place is dusty."

"Really?" Adarmus look around and pursed his lips. "Go outside. Let's eat first. I'm going to call for service to clean the room. Stand up."

Joaquin's face still has the innocent expression on him. "Fine. Don't walk too far, please."

"I won't."

He's still coping with the fact that he may never see again. When he woke up months ago with his eyes seeing nothing but black, he couldn't move out of his bed. Crying all day because he could never see again. He would never see his father and the moon.

He could never see the place where his dead guardian was buried.

"The king of elves in the northern Lyre hates this. So he actually banned it." Adarmus snorted. Joaquin had a feeling that he's eating a sour plum. It was his father's favorite food. "Picky elves."

"You said you're going to meet him?"

"Yes. We need to talk about something. I have a favor to ask him."

Joaquin was not that stupid. He knew what favor is he going to ask. Adarmus would not tell him his plans but Joaquin can read his move.

"You're going to find my mother?"

Adarmus choked. He laughed uncontrollably. Joaquin was amazed to hear his genuine happiness. It was rare moment to hear it. "Find your mother?"

"Yes? I'm blind now. Maybe you want to give me to my mom and make her accompany me for a while."

Adarmus went quiet for a second. He huffed. "I don't need that. Aren't I your company now?"

"You can't possibly be with me everyday. You work sometimes. I know. People finds you every time and they'd ask for help."

Adarmus knocked his forehead. "You don't have a mother. Stop looking. You wouldn't find anything about her."

"Why is that?" he countered, "You can't say something like that and expect me to not ask you in return."

Adarmus was silenced for a moment. In the end, he croaked, "Joaquin, if I told you..." Changing his mind, he sighed noisily. "Forget it. You're too young to understand it."

"I'm too young?" Joaquin echoed. "I'm twenty one now. When am I going to be 'not too young' for you?"

"Hah. The day when you actually stop asking me where's your mom." Adarmus mumbled, "That woman doesn't exist. You don't have one."

Joaquin decided to think he's lying. His father is too cold to actually consider his feeling about this. "I need to know her too. I missed her in my childhood days. Is it that I'm going to die not knowing her name?"

Adarmus looked pinched. He hated conversation like this with his son. He couldn't understand. He wouldn't understand what he says. Adarmus was afraid to be seen as a freak.

"I have an appointment with the king. So I have to leave you for now."

"See? You're ignoring my questions."

"It's because they are stupid. I didn't tell you when you were young. What makes it different now that you're old enough?" He stomped at Joaquin's hopeful tone. "Don't go outside and don't let anyone in."

Joaquin faced left and stopped listening to him. His nose was sour and he felt broke at the moment.

"Joaquin!"

"Just go, okay?" Joaquin frowned. "Stop talking already and just go. Be back tomorrow."

"What? I'll be right back. This won't take too much time."

Joaquin sighed. "I don't want to be near you. I really don't like you right now."

Adarmus thought he's immune to Joaquin's words. But with sudden moments like this, he couldn't help the feeling of restlessness in his chest. In the end, Joaquin is his blood and bones.

"Stop acting like a mother's presence changes something. It don't. I grew up without one. That's fine, Joaquin."

'But I don't want you as my father.' Joaquin gulped his response. 'If it wasn't you, then I wouldn't have to live in seclusion. If it isn't you, then I would have experienced being hugged by someone who thinks I'm important enough.'

'All of the unfortunate events in my life happened because you are my father.' Lowering his head, Joaquin thought. 'I hate you.'