E.J’s story is about the trauma about what sexual abuse can do to a person, and the story does not even cover the tip of the iceberg. There are so many times where a person doesn’t seek help until many years after the events has happened, or where they go for a few sessions for help and then never go back again. Because of this there is no way of knowing what goes on in that person’s mind at all. From a personal perspective I can say that I could understand that it could vary for each and every person, since every child, teen, or adult that goes through something like this will experience it differently, have a different effect to the trauma, as well different situations.
Sexual abuse is seen as any kind of activity where another person is used against their will to benefit or satisfy another person. This can include any activities from someone exposing themselves to another, inappropriate touching, to rape.
I would like to take a moment just to point out some of the staggering statistics I have found on the matter in question:

In the USA alone, they have found evidence from reported cases that at least 57,329 children are victims to sexual abuse per year. (Now this might seem like a lot, but believe me when I once again say that this number does not even begin to show how many people this is happening to.)
Of all sexual abuse victims under 18, 2 out of 3 are ages 12 – 17. That means that 34% if under the age of 12 whereas the other 66% are aged between 12 and 17.
*One in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult… that we know off. And although it might seem to us like the problem is one that happens more to girls than boys, we also have to remember that boys are 98% less likely to report what has happened to them than a girl, making these statistics very difficult to compile correctly.
*82% of all reported victims under 18 are female.
*Females aged 16 – 19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.
The effects of child sexual abuse can be long-lasting and affect the victim’s mental health. Victims are more likely than non-victims to experience the following mental health challenges:

*About 4 times more likely to develop symptoms of drug abuse.
*About 4 times more likely to experience PTSD as adults.
*About 3 times more likely to experience a major depressive episode as adults.
Now… Let’s look at the statistics of the perpetrator. Among cases of child sexual abuse reported to law enforcement; 93% are known to the victim. When you break it down, sexual abusers are strangers in only 7% of cases, 59% are acquaintances or friends of the family, and a staggering 34% are family members of the victim.

To boil that down even further, in most of the reported cases the perpetrators were a parent!!!
Yes! 80% of the time it would have been a parent, 6% were other relatives, 5% were siblings or other members, and 4% were unmarried partners of a parent.
Now let’s have a look at why so many victims do not go to the police, or seek help:
It is because out of every 1,000 rapes, 995 perpetrators will walk free!
Out of 1,000 cases, only 230 are reported to the police, of which 46 reports will lead to arrest. Of those 46, only 9 cases will get referred to prosecutors. 5 cases will lead to a felony conviction, and only 4,6 rapists will be incarcerated.
Now, I will not sit and bore you here with even more statistics which are much, much more than what they are online. This article that I am writing I am writing with the mission that you reading it will keep your eyes open, be a help, or if you are a victim yourself, get some help in this situation. It is only when we are aware and we stand together and educate ourselves that we can stop this terrible in the world from happening.
Firstly we need to remember that the perpetrator essentially also needs help in more cases than not. No, I do not excuse the behavior, but we have to remember that people are shaped by many different things and to understand how they think will also help us to spot them out and help a child in the process.
Firstly… In most cases the perpetrator will usually be extremely jealous. Seeing the child as his or her property, and because of that will think they do have the actual right to use the person sexually or to abuse them when they have done “wrong”. They get turned on by the idea of being with someone underage and sometimes will even have major issues being with someone their own age in a sexual way. Adults who struggle to make a connection with other adults are more likely to abuse someone underage sexually.
In some cases, more often than not, the perpetrator will also include physical or mental abuse along with the sexual abuse, and this could be a direct consequence of the perpetrator being molested and abused in their own childhood. The sexual abuse thus stimulates some type of need the perpetrator may have – likely the need to be in full control of what they see as a sexual relationship, or to heal or reconstruct their own earlier sexual abuse by playing out the scenario again. Thus this is one of the reasons why someone could potentially go over from victim and become an abuser. This is obviously not the only way abusers are made, since it could also be a chemical imbalance, or the person just being a sadist, but vampire-syndrome is in most cases the most popular reasoning behind why they do what they do.
Other popular trademarks of perpetrators are that they like to put themselves in positions of power over their victim. When they are the parent, teacher, uncle, or any other authority relationship it gives them better alone access to the victim and makes it easier to manipulate the victim in doing what they want them to do. In most cases sexual abuse is planned thoroughly by the perpetrator in order for it to be possible to happen over a long period of time. It also happens to happen more to victims that are isolated from either one or both parents and the perpetrator then sees their chance in as being so much easier. The perpetrator forces the victim to allow the abuse by offering either promises of reward or by threats. Such a person is also not without guilt and in more cases than not have addictive personalities and would either misuse alcohol or drugs to quiet their own guilt, or anxiety of being caught.
But how does a child, teenager or young adult fall into this trap when we are learned from a young age to say no?
Easy… We’re not! Children are taught from a very young age to respect their elders, and they are usually taught that nobody strange is to touch them. But what if it is a parent that’s been bathing you since you were a baby? Who has touched you “there” in order to clean you? Doesn’t that blur the lines, especially in cases where the victim is extremely young?
Remember that most underage children have to look an adult in the eye for each and every need that they have. For anything from love and affection, to food and shelter. Adults usually have enough power over the situation that they can make a very real threat that they will be responsible for serious consequences in these situations if the child refuses to do what they say. It works in the very same way where a parent would punish a child if they did not do their homework by taking their phone away. Only here it’s not just a phone that will be taken away. For example: a stepfather could very easily say that if someone finds out the consequences would be that he goes to jail or will leave the mom. Either way, the stay at home mom will not have money to support them further and the stepfather could then further threaten a punishment that the child might be taken away to a foster home. Children then feel helpless in these situations, believing that this is exactly what will happen. The perpetrator starts indoctrinating the victim over a period of time so that they live in permanent fear and anxiety, not just while the abuse is happening but also well into adulthood to speak out for themselves.
Another things is that when incest is a part of it, it is usually also kept hidden fairly well by the victim, simply because they are ashamed of it, and then also because the person is in a position where they can threaten to harm other members of the family or to abuse younger siblings as well. The child then starts feeling guilty, wanting to “save” their family and siblings, keeping quiet almost in a way of being a martyr.
Sexual abused victims also often feel that they are to blame for what is happening to them and therefore feel to guilty to say something about it. This is because the perpetrator will often tell the child that they did something to deserve the abuse, or that they did something to ask for it, which makes the child feel unsure if they didn’t in a way ask for it to happen, confusing their emotions even more. Victims then start to think that they should have done more to stop the abuse from happening in the first place, and thus let it happen again because they were to blame for letting it happen in the first place. The victim then starts feeling that they are “bad” people for letting it happen in the first place and then continue to let it happen because of a want to “punish” themselves. The victim also gets told that it is “our secret”, making the victim feel that they are a part of some sexual activity and therefore just as guilty. Because of this the victim will cut themselves off from their friends and family because of the guilt and feeling unworthy. This isolation obviously makes it even easier for the perpetrator to continue the sexual abuse.
The reason why underage children usually don’t tell anybody is also because they believe that nobody will believe them – especially because it is their word against the word of an adult. This runs even deeper by the fact that they already also know that they might be punished for saying anything at all. In many cases this actually does happen when the child talks that they are not believed. When this does happen a child will likely never speak of it again just because they know that nothing will happen besides them getting punished.