Eighteen years ago.

"Ascian… no!.. I'm not dead… please don't" Mirela was crying and sobbing as she watched Ascian who was looking at her own dead body with a pale face. He looked so exhausted and tired. His eyes were red and lips were pale. He was wearing a shirt which had buttoned incorrectly. His hair was messy and hasn't combed it for days.


The look he had on him was pathetic, hurtful and so regrettable. He had regret in his eyes as he looked at her. His fists were clenched and also his jaws. He took a deep breath and lowered his eyes from her, then rubbed his forehead before looking at her again.

"I'm sorry" his lips moved and she heard him muttering. Her heart went numb, seeing him like that. She subconsciously shook her head and walked towards him before touching his arm. She was crying miserably and she wanted him to look at her instead of looking at the dead body in front of him.

"Ascian.. Here I am. Not dead. Please look at me. See, I'm touching you" no matter how she cried and spoke to him, he felt nothing about her touch or nothing about her cries. All he did was staring at his Mirela who had just passed away.


"I'm.. not...dead" she rested her forehead against his back and cried as she hugged him so tightly but nothing happened. Her words were useless, he didn't feel her touch. He just simply didn't feel her alive.

"Daddy… Momma is not coming back?" her heart pierced by the words she heard. Moving away from Ascian's body, she looked at Ahren and walked towards him with tears as she took his arm. She was not dead but why is this happening?


"No!" Ascian replied with a faint smile and walked towards Ahren as he picked him up. Hearing Ascian's answer, Ahren's eyes filled with tears as his little eyes let out tear drops. Her heart was aching, she couldn't help but cry seeing his little face.

"No, momma is here, Ahren." she cried helplessly as Ascian walked away with Ahren. Watching them leaving, she looked at herself. Is she really dead? She asked herself looking at the dead body of hers. If she's dead, how come she's still here snating and more alive?

She couldn't understand anything, her mind was a mess. Looking at her own self, she wiped her tears and followed Ascian. She wanted to tell him that she was still there, even if her body was like that. When she walked towards the place Ascian left with Ahren, she saw Ascian was talking to a man.

She immediately ran towards Ascian and stood beside him after remembering that it was a doctor from the hospital. She hoped that the doctor would find that she was not dead. Then she looked at Ascian's sadness filled face and then looked at the doctor as his next words shocked her.

"Luna is two weeks pregnant. I can be sure that it was another alpha baby because she hasn't faced any physical abuse while she was kidnapped."

"I'm sorry alpha" she placed her hands against her belly and caressed it before looking at Ascian who had his jaws clenched. His eyes were red and soon tears filled them. Her heart cried for him, he was just simply lost.

"Baby's gender?" his voice was hoarse as he asked the doctor. Then the doctor shook his head and lowered his head with an apologetic face as Ascian nodded at him and walked away. Mirela was somewhat happy with the thought that she had gotten pregnant again but she couldn't be too happy because of the thing which was happening.

"Ascian.. It must be a girl.. You wanted a girl right?" wrapping her hands around his free arm, she looked up at him with a smile. No matter how she talked and how she tried, he didn't hear or feel her which made her heart broken.

"Ascian…. Look at me" she begged running after him everywhere he left. He was arranging the funeral for her. She didn't want to, she was not dead. In a day, he became somewhat thin, he looked so tired and calm. She couldn't bear the sudden change of his. He was always strong but look at him now.

Time passed slowly, and it was midnight. Mirela stayed closer to Ahren until he fall asleep just like Ascian. After putting Ahren to sleep, Ascian watched him for a while and walked out of his room. Mirela watched him leave and slowly got up from Ahren;s bed as she followed Ascian and entered their room.

As she entered and looked at Ascian, the thing she saw made her heart shattered into pieces. He was crying, tears rolling down from his eyes. He was looking at the bed as he let out calm tears. Taking off the shirt he was wearing, he slowly walked towards the bed and sat on it. Then buried his face against his palms.

He was enduring the pain, he was forcing himself not to cry. Mirela helplessly watched him with a heart throbbing pain. She tried so hard but he couldn't hear her or feel her so what should she do now? How can she let him feel her? Her mind was a mess and she slowly walked towards him and sat on the bed next to him.

"I'm here Ascian.. How come you don't feel me?" she muttered resting her head against his shoulder. She was both helpless and hurt but seeing him like this made her ever worse. He was not a man with weaknesses but look at him now, she had made him like this.

'A luna is nothing but a failure to the whole pack. She's weakening the pack. Without her the pack is strong.'

Her mind started to repeat his words that he said to her when he rejected her. Seeing the status he's in now, she felt that his words were correct and true. Because of her, he had become weak. If she was not there, would Ascian Lucas ever cry like this? She asked herself with tears rolling through her face.

"Please.. Don't cry.. You were not like this before. I'm still here" she sobbed, hugging him, then suddenly he got up from the bed and walked towards the drinks cabinet inside of his room and grabbed a vodka bottle with high rated alcohol.

Her heart tightened seeing him, she immediately got up from the bed and walked towards him as she tried to pull it from him but she couldn't. She just couldn't affect anything he did. Without taking a glass, he just opened the bottle and drank, ignoring everything around him.

Mirela helplessly watched him. She couldn't do anything and she was just lost. Tears never stopped coming out of his eyes as he drank the bottle until he couldn't stand it. Then he stared at the dressing room for a while and walked towards it but without entering, he stopped.

"Why? I can't… without you" resting his back against the wall, he muttered. Then slowly sat on the cold floor and started to wipe his tears from the back of his palm. She watched him and knelt in front of him before hugging him so tightly against her body.

"Why are you crying like this? I'm here Ascian '' kissing his head she forcefully smiled and said. She knew he would never hear her but she didn't stop trying. She wanted to make his pain go away but she didn't know how to. It was just so hurtful and tiring. It was so hard for her to see him like this.

His tears and his cries. He was in pain without her, his words made her heart go numb. She felt it, she felt that he had truly loved her. If he didn't love, would he ever cry like this? His silent tears meant everything and they held the love he had for her. She didn't want to believe him when he said that he loved her because of something that happened in the past but now she believed him.

He had really loved her even if she feared to acknowledge his love.