DIGGING THE TRUTH

"Are we...okay?" Damian inquires after parking the car in the parking lot.



Are we? Are we not? No, actually, he should not bother me with this. Only he has the answer to this since he is the one battling with trust issues, right?

You can call me old-fashioned or perhaps a bit dramatic, but I have always held firm to the belief that honesty is a fundamental key in any relationship. I firmly believe in the principle of no secrets, seeing it as the cornerstone of building a truly authentic and enduring relationship. For me, a lasting relationship is built on a solid foundation of trust and honesty—two values that seem to be struggling in our current situation.


And it pains me, you know, especially because I can see in his eyes how much he is unwilling to keep whatever is haunting his demons from me.

If he truly trusted me wholeheartedly, I can't help but think he would not hesitate to confide in me about whatever was troubling him. But no, he would rather it kill him than share it with me. I have always been here to listen, to support, and to navigate life's challenges together. If only he could find the courage to be honest with me, perhaps we could confront his fears head-on and lay them to rest.


Despite my frustrations, I can't help but hold out hope that we can overcome this obstacle. I long for the day when he feels comfortable enough to open up to me, to trust in our bond enough to share his innermost thoughts and fears. Until then, I will continue to stand by his side, ever hopeful that our commitment to each other will ultimately prevail.

But in all honesty, this is weighing me down so badly. I don't know for how long I can bear this load of knowing that there is a secret he is keeping from me. I have been open to him, right? He knows all about me, including my fears. I just feel awful that he is still not ready to open up to me after all this time.

I have just been awfully mute since our talk back in my condo. I am not angry, trust me, but I have the right to feel this way, right? I have been nothing but an open book to him, but why can't he just do the same to me? I am willing to listen to whatever his fears are. I am itching to know what is eating him up because it is beginning to impact me too. I just feel hopeless, because no matter how many times I ask him, he won't tell me. And what hurts the most is that, despite knowing and seeing how his actions are affecting me, he is still not ready to do anything about it.

I lazily heave my head in a slight nod in response to his question and start huddling my things, ready to leap out of the car. The bile in my throat is about to choke me. We have just come from a mind-blowingly memorable trip, and I don't want to ruin the mood further.

"You don't seem like it, Ellie. What's wrong?" He stops me by gripping my hand, earning a glare from me.

"What is wrong, Damian?" shoot! I didn't know I was about to burst. 'What is wrong is my fiance not trusting me enough to open up to me. What do I look like to you? A weakling who can't take a secret, or a dumb, heartless bitch who can't understand your worries?" I didn't mean to snap, but I guess the bile in my throat had mounted higher than I thought. I am brimming with red from ear to ear. I feel like crying, but I am hoping I won't.

"I do not want to hurt you, Ellie, nor do I want to lose you. That is all that I fear for." Damian's voice trembles with raw intensity, his eyes pleading for understanding.

But my patience wears thin, frustration bubbling to the surface like a tempest unleashed. "None of that will happen if you come out clean. I have a heart, for God's sake, Damian! What is so big that you think I won't understand? Is it about that fiancee of yours again? Does she want you back now?" My words lash out, fueled by a mix of anger and insecurity.

Silence hangs heavy in the air, stretching into an eternity as Damian's gaze pierces through me like a dagger. Fear dances in his eyes once more, shrouding his usual composure in a cloak of uncertainty.

Why this fear? Is it her? Does she want him back?

"Don't just gawk at me, love! Say something!" My voice rises with possessiveness, a primal instinct to protect what is rightfully mine, surging to the forefront.

I can't bear the thought of losing him to another woman, not after all we have been through together. The mere idea of her encroaching on our relationship ignites a firestorm of jealousy within me, threatening to consume everything in its path.

I cling to a sliver of hope, praying against all odds that his silence right now is not a confirmation of my worst fears. Because if it indeed is... well, let's just say there is no way I will ever let another woman walk away with what is rightfully mine. They might have been bound by some goddamned nonsense, but we are bound together by love. And nothing can ever win against true love.

"Forgive me for this. It is for your own good and mine too. I will tell you when the right time comes."

When the right time comes! What freaking right time, huh?

"If it is something that I am doomed to find out, Damian, I suggest you speak now. Don't let me find out through other channels because I won't be able to handle it, and I can't guarantee that I will forgive you then," I mumble.

"Are you sure you can take anything?" I nod my head. "And...you can forgive me for anything?"

What crime has he committed?